💌 Dear Stabby
Unsolicited advice from someone who’s definitely not licensed, spiritually stable, or entirely alive.
You’ve got problems. Ghosts. Possessions. Questionable life choices involving cursed mirrors, exes who won’t stay buried, or mysterious stains that scream at night. Don’t worry — Stabby’s here with advice sharper than your last séance blade.
Write in. Confess your hauntings. Beg for clarity. Or just vent. Your torment is my content.
Submit Your Haunting:
Confess your sins, share your ghost stories, or ask Stabby what to do about that strange humming in the freezer. (No promises you’ll survive the answer.)
The Files Stabby Didn’t Shred
💀 “My Ouija Board Won’t Shut Up”
💌 Dear Stabby,
I think my Ouija board is broken. It keeps spelling “LOL” no matter what I ask. Should I burn it?
— Haunted & Heckled
🩸 Stabby says:
Burn it, bury it, salt the ashes, and delete your search history. If it’s still laughing, congratulations — you’ve summoned Twitter.
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🕷️ “He Ghosted Me — Literally”
💌 Dear Stabby,
My boyfriend said he needed “space,” then evaporated right in front of me. Do I wait, or start haunting Tinder?
— Spiritually Single
🩸 Stabby says:
Wait three moons. If he doesn’t manifest by then, smudge your apartment and date someone with a pulse this time. Spirits are clingy.
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🔪 My Doll Blinks When I Sleep
💌 Dear Stabby,
The antique doll on my shelf keeps changing outfits and blinking when I’m not looking. Thoughts?
— Sleepless in Salem
🩸 Stabby says:
Thoughts? None left. Burn the doll, move houses, change names. Or start charging it rent — it’s clearly settled in.
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